Grudges

Wow, what a crazy week! It's Thursday already? I'm leaving town tomorrow? I haven't even done laundry to start packing? Yeah, that sounds about right...

I'm going to tell you all a story today, about the one grudge I can't let go of. For this story to be taken in it's full capacity, this is going to be a longer post and you need to know two things:

1. I'm not typically one to hold onto grudges for very long. The longest I've been mad at someone was maybe two days, if that. I don't see the point. I have a million other things to think about other than why or how you "did me wrong".
2. I hate when people copy me. There's authorized copying: "Oh my gosh, yes get that bag so we can be twins!" or "I'm sending you something, I found it, loved it, and bought you one so we could match." And there's credited copying: "Hey you, cute cute bag!" "Oh thanks! I saw Sarah's the other day and knew I had to have one too" Both of these are ok in my book.

With that in mind, please bear with me as I tell you a story:

When I was 18, rebellious, doing everything I could to "be my own person" I did one of the stupidest things of my life. I got a tattoo. 

Said Tattoo

I don't hate my tattoo, but I do regret it. Every summer someone says "oh I love your tattoo, what does it stand for?" Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It stands for my rebellious years. At the time, I loved peace signs, they were on everything I owned, so you know, why not get them permanently marked on my body? Mistake #1. Now I don't even think about it, or notice it even unless I'm wearing sandals and someone asks me about it or says they think it's "cute". Often, during the winter, I forget I even have it.

Anyway, I got my tattoo the day before we were going to Mississippi to visit family. Mistake #2. Everyone was excited about it, and quite frankly surprised my parents "let me get it". Especially my aunt with a 17 year old daughter of her own who was wanting to get a tattoo. My aunt made a couple comments about how she told her daughter that she couldn't get one, that she would regret it, on and on. So I'd made my point, I was an adult that had designed thought of my own tattoo and done it. Not needing anyone to approve. We went on with our lives. 

Maybe 6 months later I was scrolling through my cousins vacation pictures and came across a picture of her foot in a TOM's shoe. My thought process:

Oh cute TOM's! Where did she get these? Oh wow, is that a tattoo sticking out of that shoe?- kept scrolling through pictures -Wow, I guess my aunt decided it was ok. Of course she did after I got one, -still scrolling- because my cousin can't do anything on her own it has to be someone else's idea first and OMG THAT'S THE EXACT SAME TATTOO AS MINE! As I come across a picture of her at the beach.

Still, as I type this five years later, it angers me to my deepest core. Let's be honest here, the balls it took for her to get the exact same tattoo, after she had seen mine not six months earlier, and not even say "Hey that's a cute idea, mind if I get one SIMILAR?" 

This was not authorized or credited copying, in fact when I commented on the picture "cute tattoo, you're welcome for the idea" she tried to tell me that SHE HAD DRAWN IT HERSELF. "YOU SHITTING ME" was my reaction to that one. 

After that there were a few several hateful text messages sent back and forth, her mom got involved saying that my cousin had had that tattoo while we were there in town and they had covered it up for fear of what we might say about it. And when they saw my tattoo she told my cousin to not say anything. And that I should apologize to my cousin because I had no right to come at her like that. Yes, I'm dead serious right now. 

So it's 5 years later, and we still don't speak. My dad hardly ever talks to his sister (the aunt) either, because of this whole incident. It's easier to hold this grudge because we live thousands of miles away and rarely see each other anyways. 

The point of this extremely long story is, this is probably one of the reasons I will never be a true adult. I feel like a true adult would be able to let this go. I don't think grudges over minor things are worth it, or grudges that are going to ruin relationships are worth it. But this grudge did neither for me, I was never exceptionally close to my cousin, and it doesn't ruin my day to day life. Just thinking about us being in the same room this weekend and someone saying "Oh how cute, you guys have the same tattoo!" makes me want to projectile vomit. 

The moral of the story is, watch out for sketchy copiers, I'll never be a true adult, and I'll be wearing socks all weekend. 

If you're still with me, how do y'all feel about grudges?

Have a fabulous Thursday!

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