Patients; no patience

Working in the medical field is no joke. I don't even consider myself to work in "the medical field" I work in an office, but I do work in a medical office, and we do have patients.  I work in a physical therapy office so generally we see patients three times a week for about a month or so, we really get to know them in those couple weeks. I've seen it all. There are some patients that you get to know, and you love 'em. Can't wait for them to come back. Then there are those that you are just ready for their script to run up so you can tell them their time here is up. Today I'm here to share with you some of those people, because I can't hold in my frustration with them much longer.  The "clever" ones.  You expect old people to be witty and say funny, clever things. It's when the middle aged/younger people say these things like they've never been said before and think they're the best thing since sliced bread.  When their timer goes off: "Stick a fork in me I'm done!" Fine, but stick a knife in me because we've been using timers for at least six years, so its not the first time we've heard that, not even the first time from you.  After getting ice on their injured body part: "How does your shoulder knee whatever feel?" "COLD!" Wow, that's great material, you should take that show on the road. Seriously, take it to the road and play in traffic.  When they're leaving the therapist always asks them how they feel. Every patient says this at least once, it's the ones that say it every time that I can't handle: "How do you feel?" "With my fingers.." 
The Braggers. When you think of braggers, you're probably thinking of people bragging about their things, their phones, and their cars. We have those too, equally annoying, but not even the worst ones. The ones that brag about their surgeries are the worst. Generally, it's the older crowd, sitting out there, bragging about how many surgeries they've had and how long it took them to recover. "Oh JimBo* you've been here for 2 weeks and you still have to use your walker? I had that done a couple years ago and I was running in a week." You can't even remember what time your appointment was scheduled for. I highly doubt you remember how long it took you to recover from a major surgery.  The Criers. I can't tell you who's worse. The criers usually happen after the braggers get people down about their progress, so I guess if I had to pick, I'd pick the braggers. People come in and expect to be up and about in a week. YOU HAD YOUR KNEE REMOVED AND REPLACED WITH A BRAND NEW ONE.  It takes me weeks to break in new shoes, how long do you think it's  going to take to break in a new body part?   The Loud Ringers. The gym is a pretty busy place. It can be packed with people all talking about something so it gets pretty loud. I understand if you're waiting on an important phone call and you need your phone on loud to hear it in the hustle and bustle, fine. If you just like to hear your phone play that full song every time you get a text message? Save it for when you're not surrounded by people trying to do other things. Or at least turn it down so it's not so freaking loud. (side note: these people actually annoy me all the time, not just at work.) The Hurries. Some of these people need to slow down or they'll end up back in here for a different body part. Everyone has to sign a paper saying they were here before they leave. Some people are pretty good about it, but if I'm not standing there making sure they stop, most of them will walk right past that window with the paper and right out the door. Or the people that expect to be able to be done, sign out, and schedule in a two minute time span. I just heard that you're leaving so you have to give me a second to get to the window.  Last but not least, The Questionnaires. I get it, you don't know much about how insurance works, but I promise you, if your first day was two days ago, your insurance hasn't paid. If there is a problem I will tell you about it. You don't have to ask every time if they've paid. You don't have to ask how many visits you have left EVERY TIME, one less than the last time you asked.  Whew, I feel better. Have you ever run into any of these people?